The Four-Fold Function of a Father

​Black Fathers Matter. With mighty Samson-like hands, the father upholds the family as he by heart is the classic weight lifter and carrier of tremendous responsibilities and key to the functionality of the family. Yet, the Jamaican society is overwhelmed with absent fathers and paternally deprived children which have resulted in juvenile delinquency, promiscuity, abuse, and behavioural problems in the school system. According to Buckley (2018), fatherlessness is ‘the state of growing up without the physical, emotional, or fiscal support of a father during the formative years of a child’s life.' This injury to family configuration and structure can be remedied by patriarchs taking up their honourable titles and rightly fulfilling their roles. He is a mighty monarch, a worthy priest, a faithful knight, and a fierce hunter for his family. When he fulfils these roles, it has a powerful effect on the development of boys and girls. Salute to black fathers who are breaking this intergenerational curse of fatherlessness by functioning in these four aspects!

Monarch – Father is King.

​Father is the designated ruler of the family, official custodian of the rod, upholder of firm judgment, and administrator of justice. Children naturally require sound management and so it is his duty to properly construct appropriate rules and regulations to ensure order and structure in the family. ‘Boys need a second birth, this time, a birth from men’ (Bly, 1990). In leading, he defines healthy masculinity for his son and offers the correct tools to transition into manhood; with father’s presence he understands his identity. Many youngsters resort to gangs because they are trying to compensate for a lost leader. Sufficiently developing his masculinity, his father not only shows him how to be strong and courageous but also being attuned to his anima. Fathers need to teach their sons that they can be in touch with both cognition and affect by having meaningful conversations that will help them to develop sound reasoning and make good decisions and by hugging them and expressing and communicating feelings. He should teach him that his worth is more than his sexual and reproductive organs. A girl’s first love is her father and if she is rejected and abandoned by him it has severe implications on her self-worth and she is more likely to be vulnerable to toxic romantic relations or form insecure attachments (Castetter, 2020). Several studies have indicated that an absent paternal figure from a girl’s life makes her more suspectable to early sexual experiences or promiscuity (Meeker, 2017) for this reason; girls need their fathers to show them how a man ought to treat her and that her value is more than her beauty and body. She needs a masculine figure.

Father portrays his love through the justice he executes and so when boundaries are violated he does not punish but rather disciplines appropriately. Otherwise results in a father wound for the child. Kings who have abdicated their thrones have produced children, especially boys, who are aggressively resisting authority. These are children in constant violation of rules in the school system because they suffer unresolved issues with father’s offense whether in his presence or absence. Without mediation, it becomes juvenile delinquency and later adult criminality left to the justice system (Simmons, 2017). The education of moral values and the formation of moral behaviour must be on top of the father’s agenda to prevent this. Furthermore, father must respect children’s rights and responsibilities and his authority should never be oppressive. Justice must initially be imparted at home!

Priestly Position

Children need to be enlightened on spiritual matters too. All too well, this aspect of their existence is neglected in parenting and should not be so because they are wired to connect to a spiritual source, all human beings are. They can learn spiritual laws and principles. It is virtually impossible to discuss father’s priestly function without mentioning God the Father. ‘Fatherhood is eternal with God. It did not begin with time, it did not begin with human history, it began in eternity’ (Prince, 1985). Father bears this honourable title as God does,he has the mantle of connecting his family to the Divine source. He is the chosen vessel to bring God to his house and to meet God for his family and encourage them to establish meaningful rituals.

Knight on Horse Back

Defender and protector of his children, he guards them against predatory forces of all spheres! Children need to know they have a sturdy arm to depend on who can fight on theirbehalf and shields them in the face of grave threat. Unfathered females are more likely to turn to older men or gang members to feel a sense of safety and security (Meeker, 2017). Boys require a knight in shining armour too as they are in a constant battle to be won by negative peer influence and ineffective media models. Protection and security are not limited to the physical or spiritual. Children need a sense of psychological security from father. Franz Kafka, a German novelist, echoed this truth in his heartfelt letter to his father. Kafka expressed how fearful he was of his father and how it caused chaos in his emotional universe resulting in his great timidness.Children can’t be protected by those they fear. They need kindness and compassion from their dad and this is where they find a safe haven. Like the prodigal’s father, they find shelter and safety, mercy and forgiveness, and love and acceptance from him. A secure father attachment is a child’s greatest protection.

Hunter- Father the Go-getter

​Fathers must maintain the paternal responsibility to amply provide for their children irrespective of modern women oftentimes better educated, self-driven and sometimes earning more than men. It is a man’s responsibility to toil and cater to his family. Lamentably, many mothers are battling fiercely through the court systems to receive child support or depending solely on social welfare services, so their youths can survive. These children are more likely to become victims of poverty. Father should provide his youths with a fighting chance in life by labouring, and generating generational wealth. In working, he creates a positive work ethic for his children, and they learn to be clever hunters themselves adapting a profitable economic behaviour early in life. The unflagging father expresses his paternal care for his treasured children with his eager willingness to sufficiently satisfy their demands through provision.

It Takes a Village to Change the Black Narrative of Fatherlessness

​Father-deprived and wounded children can begin to find healing with the right father substitute. Children can find that paternal tower in schools through mentorship, guidance, and discipline of male teachers. The church remains a community where spiritual fathers can help nurture and guide youths spiritually and morally. Community elders must see it as their duty to help educate young children and be an example through which they can emulate.

Conclusion

​The title of Father is one of the highest a man can wear as he possesses something in common with the Creator himself. Father maintains a great responsibility as he is a monarch, priest, knight, and hunter for his family. Children are more vulnerable to juvenile delinquency, promiscuity, abuse, and behavioural problems when the father is missing. Salute to black fathers who are breaking this intergenerational curse of fatherlessness by functioning in these four aspects!

To be a good father is the most important job in a man's life, but it doesn't have to be hard. Play catch, go to a park or visit a zoo. Help your child with their homework. Sit down together for dinner. Ask them how their day was. Things get busy, and sometimes we all fall short, but the smallest moments can have the biggest impact on a child's life. Take time to be a dad today. (President Obama)

References

Bly, R. (1990). A Book About Men. Retrieved from https://www.reidstellingcounselling.com

Buckley, E. M. (2018). EXPLORING “FATHERLESS WOMAN SYNDROME” AND THE PERCEPTIONS OF ATTACHMENT IN JAMAICAN WOMEN.( Doctoral dissertation, Morgan State University). Retrieved from https://www.proquest.com.

Castetter, C. (2020). The Developmental Effects on the Daughter of an Absent Father Throughout her Lifespan. Retrieved from https://www.scholarworks.merrimack.edu

Derek, P. (1985). Fatherhood. Retrieved from http://www.pdfdrive.com

Meeker, M. (2017). Hero: Being the strong father your children need. Regnery Publishing. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com

Simmons, C. (2017). The Differential Influence of Absent and Harsh Fathers on Juvenile Delinquency. (Master’s Thesis, University of California). Retrieved from http://www.escholarship.org.

kaylia Devis